If One of Us Goes Down
by Longing for Leo
Summary: In this life we only have each other. If one of us goes down, we all go down. Leo and his brothers learn how true these words are after being captured by the EPF, watching helplessly as Leo is seemingly killed. Rated for physical & mental torture. Done!
1. Ch 1: In This Life

Hello readers! Here's another one of my Leo-centric fics.I wrote this one in the fall when the muse hit me but haven't been completely happy with it till now. No worries, it's finished and it's only 20 pages in word, so no long waits or big time commitment here. By now you all probably know how much I love torturing Leo and Raph (especially Leo), physically and emotionally, right? Well yes, this one batters Leo around a bit too, so if you're up for that kind of story, enjoy!If One of Us Goes Down

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"_In this life we only have each other. If one of us goes down, we all go down. So focus." _

_- _Hamato Leonardo

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Hamato Leonardo woke to the sounds of screaming. His blood ran cold before he even realized why: it was his brothers who were screaming. Leo's eyes snapped open to reveal his brothers chained next to each other across the room from him. There was an unfamiliar, suited man between them, taunting them. They saw his eyes opened and faced him with tortured expressions. The man turned to him with an evil smile. His brothers began shouting, called his name and yelling at the man.

"Leo!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Don't touch him!"

Leo stared at the man who now looked at him like a piece of meat. He realized that he felt very sore, looked down and was surprised to see blood, bruises, and abrasions covering his body. His eyes snapped towards his brothers, terrified that they too had been tortured. Their bodies were free of injuries, so some of his tension relieved itself, but judging by their faces he could tell that they had been tortured in an all-together different way. Leo could tell that it was going to be a long night. _How the shell did such a good day get so bad so quickly?_

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Chapter 1

In This Life

Four brothers ran across the rooftops of Brooklyn in the early evening, just as the sun was going down. Their colored bandanas whipped behind them as they hurried to get to their destination in time for sunset. The one in blue carried three boxes of pizza and multiple bags of soda, chips, and movies. The others were laughing and chasing him. They had arranged to meet at this spot, caught up to him as he was arriving, and were now racing him to it. He laughed, delighted at the chase, easily dodging their attempts to steal the boxes of pizza from his nimble hands. That is, until they decided to work together. The ones in red and purple ganged up on him, distracting him with easily avoided attacks while the one in orange snuck up and sneakily snagged one of the boxes.

"Awesome! Hawaiian, my favorite!!!" The thief shouted, delighted, as he peeked in the box amidst a cloud of delicious smelling steam.

"Mikey!" The one in blue whipped around, distracted and breathless with laughter, then whirled back around as the one in purple snagged a second box from his slackened grip.

"Yes! Veggie Delight, my favorite!" He said, eyes shinning with glee.

"Donny! Those are for later!" He cried in mock anger, just as the one in red pounced on him from behind and wrestled the third out of his hands, whipping the box open and cracking a huge grin as he saw a pizza so weighed down by pepperoni, ham, sausage, and onions that the box was in danger of caving in.

"Raph, come on!" He cried in exasperation.

"This is the meatiest Meat Lover's pizza ever…Awesome." Raph breathed, completely in awe by the plethora of meat piled on the pizza in his hands. He turned to his brother in blue, who now stood pizza-less. "Leo, you put like triple-extra meat on it. I didn't even know they did that!"

"You got all of our favorite kinds; you didn't even get one for yourself," Donny said sheepishly. Leo just smiled.

"You're the best big brother ever!" Mikey said, jumping around and around Leo and hugging the Hawaiian to his chest as he sneaked a peak into the bag of movies. "And our favorite movies too!" He added, ecstatic. Leo smirked, amused.

"I like all of your favorites and I felt like treating you guys. Now come on, it's best at sunset!" Leo began the chase all over again, running more quickly without the pizzas weighing him down, his brothers now slowed by the pizza in their hands. He got their first. His brothers caught up with him, one by one, breathlessly setting the pizza down without really looking at the sky, but then rising slowly, eyes fixed upon the horizon where Leo gazed, silhouetted by the sunset and next to the American flag. They stood on the middle tower of the Brooklyn Bridge, facing the sunset against the New York City horizon. They could see for miles, and they had never seen such a beautiful sunset. They didn't get to see many due to their mutant-exile status and the whole living-underground-thing, so they really appreciated the beauty. They just stood and stared at it for a while, drinking it in. Leo smiled, seeing how relaxed his brothers were as they finally sat down, feet swinging off the side of the tower balcony, munching on their favorite pizzas.

"This is really nice Leo," Donny said simply, smiling as he took another bite.

"Mumph…yeah…mmff…this is awesome!" Mikey muttered, swallowing before peeling a pineapple off of his pizza and popping it into his mouth. Raph just grunted in ecstasy, leaning against the tower with an arm behind his head, head dipped back to take a bite from the slice of pizza he held above his head, eyes closed against the golden-pink light of the lowering sun. Leo smiled as he ate a piece of Donny's Veggie Delight, seeing how happy and content his brothers were.

"Just wait, you haven't seen anything yet," He chuckled, pointing towards the just visible stars as the last rays of the sun disappeared behind the horizon. His brothers looked up to where he was pointing in sync, as if they'd rehearsed it, just in time to see the very first shooting star. They missed the rest of the meteor shower, however, when they were distracted by the altogether more interesting dart now sticking out of Leo's jugular. Leo was just raising his hand to pull the dart out when another lodged itself into the vein in his antecubital fossa (elbow pit). He staggered a bit, his brothers looking on in horror as he began to topple over the edge.

"LEO!" Raph cried, leaping forward just in time to pull his brother back from over the edge. Donny and Mikey helped him to steady Leo, looking around desperately for their attacker.

"We have to get him down. If any of us get shot we could drop him or even all fall off. Come on!" Donny shouted, helping Mikey to guide Leo down into Raph's waiting arms on the ladder. They rushed down the ladder, unmolested until they were only ten feet from the bridge. Then the darts started flying. These were smaller, and while they were each hit, they made it to the bridge and hit the ground running, Leo out cold in their arms. They made it to the Manhattan side before they succumbed to the darts' soporific effect, falling to their knees under Leo's dead weight and looking up in trepidation as figures began emerging out of the surrounding shadows. One man stepped forward in front and center of the rest, dressed in a gray suit, with his arms folded behind his back. He addressed the turtles.

"My name is Colonel William Stryker. I am a military scientist studying mutants and aliens for a, how should I say it, _covert_ government agency known as the E.P.A. I believe you are already acquainted with the E.P.A. and its Agent Bishop, are you not?" Stryker grinned evilly, seeing the narrowed eyes and hisses that accompanied that name. "Ah yes, I believe you have been captured by Agent Bishop before. Unfortunately, Bishop's ineptitude resulted in your subsequent escape. Almost no new information was gathered about you. Nothing that interested the rest of the E.P.A., but there was one thing that interested me: your family dynamics and hierarchical system. Your big brother and leader, in short, our Leonardo," he purred, gesturing to their unconscious brother, now clutched in Donny's arms. Raph growled and, along with his brothers, drew in more closely to and in front of Leo, protecting him.

"What do you want with Leo?" Mikey asked aggressively, snarling in overprotectiveness of his big brother and hero and also moving to block him from view. Stryker smiled hungrily at their reactions, seemingly relishing them.

"I want to see, learn more about, and understand exactly the behavior that you three are showing right now. This overprotectiveness of and aggression towards threats to your leader, your brother. I have never seen such loyalty in subordinates and wish to isolate it and instill it in my own agents as well as soldiers of the U.S. government. It fascinates me, how Raphael, for example, can behave so aggressively towards and rebel so much against Leonardo in every situation that you face except when he is threatened. In the face of that threat you put all animosity, all thirst for power and leadership, aside and rally around your leader, sometimes taking up the leadership position unwillingly, without realizing that you are doing so, and only in order to protect your brothers and get them out of that situation, giving it up willingly, maybe without even realizing that you held it, when Leonardo is again able to function as your leader." Stryker marveled.

"You understand nothing," Raph snarled, "and I swear to God, if you hurt him or any of my brothers you will wish you were dead before I'm done with you." Stryker only laughed, seemingly buoyed by this reaction.

"I wish to stretch the bounds of this loyalty, see what it takes to break you, turn you against each other, destroy your bonds of brotherhood, break you mentally and physically. I will study just how deep this goes in order to better understand every nuance of it and hopefully figure out the trick to isolate it and instill it in my subordinates." Stryker explained with a fervor that was nearly religious; he was playing God. He motioned to his surrounding agents to pick up the drugged and weakened turtles and throw them into the back of an armored van.

Mikey was submitting to the effects of the drugs and was easily shoved into the van, slumping to the floor and barely able to raise himself up by quivering arms to watch the fate of his brothers.

Donny would not let go of Leo and had to be pried from him by four agents.

"No! Leo!" He shouted, terrified and helpless in his drugged state as they pulled his brother from him.

"Leave him alone!" Raph screamed, turning and managing to break free from the agent holding him. He ran towards Leo, now slumped, still unconscious, over the shoulder of an agent walking away from them. Another agent clotheslined Raph as he approached them, knocking him down and tackling him before he could muster the energy to fight the drugs and get up again. Three agents picked him up roughly and threw him, along with Donny, into the back of the van with Mikey. The door was slammed in their faces as they turned to see Leo tossed into the back of a black car with tinted windows and were thrown into the closed door by the force of the van's movement as it lurched forwards. They were left in total darkness for the entirety of the ride, terrified and with no idea whether they would ever see their brother and leader again, and finally succumbing to the drugs in their systems.

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So again, please let me know what you think of the story so far. Reviews are wonderful and make me feel like I'm not just posting these stories to an empty forum. Sorry for the cliff hanger, but not really, because I think that they are the most delightful good-kind-of-evil plot devices. Lol, and yes, I really did add Colonel William Stryker from X-Men Wolverine. I just thought that, if he existed in the tmnt universe, he would totally fit on Bishop's team. There's another reason too, but to say it would spoil a later chapter. More to come in a day or so. ttfn!

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	2. Ch 2: We Only Have Each Other

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Happy late Valentine's Day and early St. Patrick's Day everyone! In honor of how much we all (or at least I) love the turtles, I'm updating some of my stories (yes, I am very bad at that…I know I said this story was complete, but I can't help but keep tweaking it). But anyway, here's ch 2, I don't own them, reviews are loved, etc. Enjoy!

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Chapter 2

We Only Have Each Other

They woke to the sounds of clanking chains, realizing what was happening just as it was too late to do anything about it. They were being chained side-by-side to a concrete wall of a medium sized, brightly lit room with no windows, sterile white linoleum floors, a steel door, examiner's table, trashcan, and cabinet covered in evil looking instruments. Across from them hung more chains, these empty. Leo was being carried in, still unconscious, by more agents, and was placed on the table. His brothers' breath caught in their throats in fear when his head lolled limply to one side. Stryker correctly interpreted their expressions and turned to reassure them.

"Don't worry, he's not dead. The very last thing I want is for any of you to die or escape before I can finish studying you. I just gave him a more powerful dose of the drug so I could prepare the scenario more satisfactorily. He's by far the most dangerous of you four, and I didn't want to take any chances of him waking up. Besides, your reactions will be so much more enjoyable without his guidance, reassurance, and strong presence. We're going to find out how you react to helplessness in your leader and yourselves today." He exclaimed gleefully. Raph, Donny, and Mikey looked on in horror at his expression, their unconscious leader, and the evil-looking tools beside him. "Oh yes, we're going to have fun." Stryker said softly as he injected Leo with two different serums, one to make his skin bruise at the slightest touch and the other to greatly increase his sensitivity to pain.

"What are you giving him?" Donny asked with trepidation, the layer of fear under the anger in his words betrayed by the wobble in his voice. Stryker looked up at him in mock innocence and made a show of trying to slip the syringes into the trashcan unnoticed. He grinned as he said, "why whatever are you talking about?" Leo's brother's seethed in fury and fear. "You will just have to wait and see. You will probably figure it out soon enough." Stryker took a deep breath, barely concealing his grin as he motioned for Leo to be chained to the wall opposite his brothers and he picked up a wooden staff—Donny's bo staff, they all realized at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Donny hissed in fear. "Nooo!!!" He screamed, struggling madly as Stryker drew his bo back and swung it at Leo, hitting him with the dull thump of wood striking flesh and leaving an angry red mark on his shoulder which nearly immediately began darkening to purple. Leo's brothers all cried out, struggling against their bonds and rubbing their wrists raw as Stryker beat Leo with his brother's closest possession. Donny was crying with fury and frustration and the bo staff had blood on it by the time Stryker stopped to catch his breath, dropping the stained staff and turning to the three brothers straining towards their still unconscious and now bruised brother.

"So, how does this make you _feel_, Donatello? Your own bo staff, the extension of yourself, your closest possession, used to beat your completely defenseless brother. I could be causing real damage, he could be bleeding internally, perhaps he's in extreme pain…we don't know, because he's still unconscious." Stryker taunted. Donny could only shudder and sob angrily.

"Stop it! Stop it you monster! Leave him alone!" Donny screamed "…_Please_, I'll do anything! Beat _me_ instead!" he begged. Mikey could only look on in fear and horror, making a choked sound halfway between negation and Leo's name. Raph shook with his anger, horror and, Stryker was pleased to see, fear.

"I will kill you. I will fricking murder you you sick bastard!!! Leave my brother alone!" Raph screamed, looking utterly mad as he strained towards Stryker now, clearly wanting to rip him limb from limb for what he was doing to Leo.

"Now that is an interesting reaction. What is it that causes you to react in anger? You certainly have a temper, I know this already, but you can usually control it. No, the problem right now is that you are afraid. You're afraid because Leonardo is your guiding star, right?" Stryker paused, looking around at all of their reactions. "You have no idea what to do, what you can do, and it scares you, so you react in anger, he indicated Raph, you react in helpless frustration, he indicated Donny, and you, Michelangelo, react with fear and horror. Let's just see how you react when it's your weapons used against your brother, your _idol_, I believe." Mikey went white.

"No…please, don't!" He shouted breathlessly as Stryker picked up his own weapons, the extensions of himself, _his_ closest possessions, twirled them skillfully, and drew them back for a strike. "Leo!!!" Mikey screamed. It was horrible. Leo's body jerked with every blow, bruises blossoming in every spot that the nunchucks hit. After one particularly violent blow to his already bruised shoulder Leo moaned in pain, even through the drugs. His brothers cried out for Stryker to stop, begging him, calling for Leo. Stryker laughed, dropping the now bloody nunchucks before picking up one of Raph's sai. Leo's brothers froze as the metal sai scraped along the concrete floor as Stryker picked it up, horrified.

"No! Nooo!!!" Raph screamed, knowing how sharp his weapons were, how much damage they would do. He struggled frantically against the chains digging into him, along with his brothers, screaming for Sryker to stop, calling for Leo, terrified.

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So torture is hard to write well, and I tend to go a little over the top with the angst. It was fun, I'll admit, but I'm not sure what you'll all think of it…so reviews are welcome. :)

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	3. Ch 3: If One of Us Goes Down Part I

Nice cliffie, huh? Well, if you liked that, you'll love the one at the end of this chapter! Lol. ;) This one's a lot longer than the last two, and I plan on posting the next chapter soon after. Thanks for all the reviews! I'm having a lot of fun with this story (Too much fun, probably, lol). Hope you're enjoying it too!

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Chapter 3

If One of Us Goes Down

Part I

Leo woke to the sounds of screaming. His blood ran cold before he even realized why: it was his brothers who were screaming. His eyes snapped open to reveal his brothers chained next to each other across the room from him. There was an unfamiliar, suited man between them, taunting them and twirling Raph's sai in his hand. They saw his eyes open and faced him with tortured expressions. The man turned to him with an evil smile. His brothers began shouting, called his name and yelling at the man.

"Leo!"

"Leave him alone!"

"Don't touch him!"

Leo stared at the man who now grinned at him like a piece of meat. He realized that he felt very sore, looked down and was surprised to see bruises and abrasions covering his entire body. His eyes snapped towards his brothers, terrified that they too had been tortured. Their bodies were free of injuries, so some of his tension relieved itself, but judging by their faces he could tell that they had been tortured in an all-together different way. Leo could tell that it was going to be a long night. _How the shell did such a good day get so bad so quickly?_

"My name is Colonel William Stryker, of the EPF. I am a military scientist studying you and your family. Your brothers and I have been acquainted for quite some time now; it's good of you to join the party. We were anxious that you weren't going to show up," Stryker jibed cruelly. Leo looked again at his brothers, noting the haunted looks and tears in their eyes and the bloody bo and nunchucks at their feet along with the sai in Stryker's hand. He narrowed his eyes as he leveled his now furious stare at Stryker.

"You beat me with their own weapons _in front of them_?!" Leo shouted in righteous anger when he put it together. He was a little puzzled and very disturbed by Stryker's pleased little smile, quickly stifled, at his reaction. _He's studying us, our dynamic, my leadership and brother statuses, our loyalty to each other and reaction to threats to each other. He's interested in me because I'm the leader and he wants to see what will break our bonds, or how far we're willing to go to maintain them. But he doesn't want me to know what he's doing. He wants my honest, natural reaction. He told them what he's doing just to torture them more. This man is dangerous, more dangerous to us than Shredder or even Bishop will ever be. This man will kill us in front of each other just to see how much it messes us up, maybe even just for fun...I have got to get my brothers out of here_, Leo thought, terrified.

"Yes, I did. We had lots of fun, didn't we?" He mocked Leo's brothers brightly. They just stared at Leo, trying to communicate everything they were feeling and thinking with their eyes alone. Leo stared back, getting from Donny that he had figured out Stryker's plan and was working desperately to figure out a way to get them out of there, but was frustrated at his inability to do so, that he was terrified for Leo and their helplessness, that he loved him and would give anything for some brainwave that could get them out of here.

Mikey was crying because his kind heart couldn't stand to see his big brother beaten with his own weapons and he felt guilty and helpless on top of it and was trying to let Leo know that he was sorry and loved him and would follow him anywhere if only he could make a plan and let him know what to do.

Raph's blazing look spoke wonders about the anger and fear he felt towards this Stryker guy and everything he'd done to Leo and could do to him in the future and how horrible he felt that he couldn't run over to Leo and tear his chains to shreds, fighting their enemies back to back with him and getting their entire family out of there, that it wasn't him taking the beating instead, that he had ever said anything bad against Leo, that he was his best friend, and that it was killing him, like a fire burning at his insides, to watch Leo tortured with them all helpless like this, and that he loved him and would do anything to stop this.

Leo got all this and strengthened his resolve to survive this beating stoically, to not betray how horribly the torture might hurt his body, spirit, and mind, and to get them all out of this, somehow. With this mindset he braced himself for the torture, but he wasn't prepared for the pain, pain like nothing he had ever experienced, pain that helped him finally understand why some people begged to be put out of their misery.

Stryker stabbed Leo with Raph's sai in his leg, twisting the prongs a bit and sending white-hot surges of agony throughout his nerves and assaulting his brain. Leo arched away from the sai, wondering how it could possibly hurt this much. He'd been stabbed before, by a sai a time or two even, but it had never been anything like this. He just barely contained the scream, turning it into a strangled yelp in the back of his throat, as Stryker ripped the blades out. Leo could hear his brothers screaming at Stryker to stop, Raph loudest by far, but was much more focused on the throbbing in his leg and the sai in Stryker's hand, panting and watching Stryker as he drew back for another stab. Stryker pierced Leo's shoulder this time, then his side, careful not to hit anything vital, his brothers going crazy with terror, certain that this was the end, and finally slashing at his face, cutting Leo's mask and leaving a long diagonal scratch on from one temple, across the bridge of his nose, his cheek, and down his jaw that would surely scar. Leo was lucky not to have lost an eye. His bloodstained mask slipped to the floor, leaving his face exposed and bleeding. He growled, knowing that he had to be strong for his brothers, but he was terrified.

Stryker laughed, threw the bloody sai aside, pulled a remote out of his pocket, and pushed a button and Leo's world exploded in pain as he was electrocuted through his chains. Pain that blocked out all rational though, every sense ablaze, all other feelings completely eclipsed by this white-hot agony. He tried to hold it in, clamping his mouth shut, his teeth tightly clenched together as waves of pain assaulted him. He had never experienced pain like this, didn't know that one physically _could_ feel this much pain, as if it was amplified a hundred times over. It just got worse and a grunt of exertion and pain escaped him, followed by deeper, more agonized grunts and moans. Then Stryker pounded on the button again and the scream tore from his throat, echoing horribly around the room and assaulting his brothers' ears like physical pain. They shouted encouragement to him, threats, insults and begs to Stryker, but Leo couldn't hear anything but the crackle of the electricity, his own screams, and Stryker's laughter as the torture went on and on.

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Finally Stryker depressed the button a little more gently and the agony ceased enough for Leo's brother's words to get through. They were encouraging him, telling him how much they loved him, how proud of him they were, how they believed in him, how he was the strongest person they knew, the strongest, best person in the world in fact, the best brother and leader anyone could and has ever had, and how he could do this. They were howling with fury, angry, horrified tears escaped their screwed up eyes. He opened his eyes and smiled at them, taking their words in, relishing in the sound of their voices, the strength of their conviction, and their bravery, basking in their shared love. His brothers needed him to be strong, so he forced the pain away, finally able to focus enough to use the techniques his master taught him to get beyond the pain.

"Ok Stryker, what was that all about?" He said quietly, mastering the pain and functioning beyond it. "Why are you torturing us?" Stryker cocked his head to one side and gave a quirky little half-smile/half-frown.

"Interesting…Us? I'm torturing _you_ Leonardo—" Stryker began, ceasing the flow of electricity completely in his curiosity. Leo hid the relief, willing his muscles not to give him away with their tremoring, his skin slick with sweat…_It was like he could still feel it_…he pushed it down.

"Don't insult me. I can see what you're doing, using their weapons, making them watch. What do you want Stryker? How can I make all of this stop and get my family out of here?" Leo asked, testing to see if the direct approach would get them anywhere with this new unknown, too exhausted really to be able to think of anything else, but desperate to keep this mad-man talking.

"Are you telling me you aren't even fazed?" Stryker asked, delighted, puzzled, and exasperated all at the same time. "As soon as you hear their voices you're reminded that they're here, that they need you, and you pull yourself together for them, because you feel compelled to, you _have_ to, right? This is amazing. I'm not going to break you with physical pain, am I? You just beat the most physically painful torture available to the U.S. government with mind, or maybe just heart, over matter. So…the obvious solution, if I want to break you, is to break one of your brothers." Leo tried to control his expression, tried not to give anything away that would encourage this unacceptable outcome.

"No," Leo said, trying to sound like a true leader, calm, rational, coolheaded and callous, "they're strong and brave. Torture won't break them." Leo said firmly, doing everything he could to protect them. He realized his mistake the moment Stryker smiled.

"So I guess I'll just have to break them some other way," he sneered, pulling out a gun, cocking it, and pointing it at Mikey. Leo reacted without thinking, without feeling how every fiber of his physical being protested, numb to everything but what was going on in front of him. He saw everything in slow motion, focused, saw as Stryker's finger tightened on the trigger, saw as Mikey drew back against the wall in fear, as Raph and Donny's eyes widened into horrified expressions, as they strained against their chains, trying to stop what they knew was about to happen, crying out in negation.

"Mikey no!" Donny cried out in terror, straining wildly against his bounds, desperate tears already falling as he realized his brother and best friend was about to be shot before his eyes.

"MIKEY!!!" Raph screamed for his brother, twisting and pulling the chains taut, turning this way and that, straining towards his brother, desperate and wild with his utter helplessness to stop it.

"NOOO!!!" Leo pulled against his chains with a burst of adrenalin and the force of brotherly love. His shoulders and ankles popped out of their sockets and the skin was ripped off of his hands and feet as he wrenched them violently out of his rough metal shackles and leapt in between Stryker and his brothers. The gun went off.

The bullet caught Leo full in the chest, between the top of his plastron and his collarbone, directly over his heart. Blood exploded out of the wound, a small whimper of a sound escaped from Leo's lips, and he fell backwards violently against his brothers and slid down the wall to the floor at their feet. He looked down at the wound and the blood spreading out from it as if surprised to see it there before sluggishly flopping his head back to look up at his brothers. Their faces held a mix of expressions that he had hoped never to see: horror, fear, shock, grief and finally despair as they saw a trickle of blood leak out of his mouth, his eyes already glazing over, his chest a mess of blood.

"NOOO!!!" Donny screamed in horror and shock.

"Leo, NO!!!" Raph screamed in negation.

"LEO!!!" Mikey screamed in terror.

_I never meant for this to happen…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant to abandon you. I love you._ Leo said all of this with his eyes, his agonized expression, his small, sad smile. A tear trickled from the corner of his eye and down his cheek, dripping sparkling to the floor.

"_Love you_…" He managed to get out with his last gasping breath. It was not followed by another. His world went dark, his eyes rolled back in his head and closed, and his face paled and went completely slack. He rested on the floor with his shoulder and head propped up by the wall, his face empty, his body limp. He lay, clearly dead, on the floor at his brother's feet.

"No Leo! Don't leave us! LEO!!!" Don screamed, begging in terror and disbelief.

"Leo Nooo! Please Leo! NOOO!!!" Raph screamed in grief and denial.

"Leo no, wake up! Leo _wake up_! LEO!!!" Mikey begged, screaming for his big brother and unable to believe that he had just given his life for him, tears streaming down his face now screwed up in horror and grief.

His brothers cried, screamed, wailed. They struggled madly against their chains, twisting, pulling, and straining to tear through the cuffs, trying to escape as Leo had, willing to break their wrists and ankles if they had to, desperate to give him CPR, to do something, anything to try to save him, to undo what had just happened right in front of them.

Tears poured down Mikey's face as, even through his shock, he realized that Leo had just taken a bullet for him, just _died_ for him. He couldn't handle all the grief, the horror of what had just happened, what was still happening and would never go away, plus the guilt and shock. _It was me. Leo died for me. No. No. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Please Leo, please wake up. Please open your eyes and wink at me, let me know this is all part of the plan, that it's all going to be ok, like it always is. You're ok, right? Please big brother, you've got to be! Wake up! Please Leo, please get up! Please!!!_ But Leo didn't, and Mikey couldn't do anything, he couldn't even give voice to his pain as his face twisted and his mouth formed a silent scream that failed to get past the lump in his throat as he strained towards the limp form of his brother lying at his feet.

Donny cried out in dismay, begged Stryker to save Leo, or let them go and let them save him, please, _please_! _This can't be happening. Leo can't be dead. Not like that, just like that, so quickly, so alive one minute and then…and then…no, he CAN'T be. Please Leo, please breathe, please get up. Please Leo, please God, please Leo, please God, please please please let him be ok, let him get up. He's my brother, the best brother, the best person in the whole world! He doesn't deserve this. He's too good! We need him! Please don't take him away from me, God, please, PLEASE! No, Leo, no…_Donny sobbed, his face rigged in shock and horror; it felt frozen. Time felt frozen. Like there was nothing besides this moment, this reality: Leo's slack face, the small trickle of blood tracing a delicate red line down his pale cheek, his head lolled limply to the side, his chest still.

Raph stared at his brother, his most vital, his most passionate and brave, his most _alive_ brother, his leader, protector, teacher, and guide, his best friend, now lying dead on the floor at his feet. He could feel it building in his chest, the horror, the pain, the grief, so palpable, so real. He could feel himself hyperventilating, could hear his brothers sobbing beside him, hear Stryker laughing at Leo's brave and selfless act, saying how stupid he was, could hear his own heartbeat drumming in his temple, and the heartbeat of everyone in that room except for Leo, whose was still and silent, a ringing silence in his ears, but all he could see was Leo, pale, still, bloodstained…dead. _Leo…Leo! No, please no. Please, please please no…Leo get up, we need you! You can't just leave us like this! Don't leave us alone here! Don't leave ME alone here!!! Please, __**please**__ Leo! LEO!!! _Raph felt the emotions tearing him apart from the inside, felt the pressure building, felt the screaming sob as it forced its way from his tight chest through his throat and out of his mouth, long and loud and terrible in the pain it conveyed, felt the tears pouring down his face as he sobbed violently, heard them dripping onto Leo's still form below him, heard his own howling wails, the sobs, but all he saw was Leo, lying dead on the floor, completely unresponsive to his brothers' screaming, their tears dripping down on him.

Leo would never abandon them like this, never ignore their pain like this, if he were alive. He was the most responsive brother, completely sensitive to their needs, kind, giving, loving.

_He wouldn't let this go on, unless he was dead…because he is dead…_

_Leo's dead._

They sobbed.

All they could do was sob.

Their brother…their leader…their friend and protector…was dead…

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(Don't kill me…just keep reading. I'm posting the next part right away (in a day or two) because it would be really evil not too! Please leave a review for this chapter, because it was a long time in the making and is probably my favorite of everything I've ever written. I hope those of you who don't like character death don't give up on the story, and I really hope you're enjoying it!)

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	4. Ch 3: If One of Us Goes Down Part II

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Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! That was evil, wasn't it? Well here's part II in a reasonable amount of time, as promised.

Where we last left off…

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Leo would never abandon them like this, never ignore their pain like this, if he were alive. He was the most responsive brother, completely sensitive to their needs, kind, giving, loving. _He wouldn't let this go on, unless he was dead…because he is dead…Leo's dead._ They sobbed; all they could do was sob.

Their brother…their leader…their friend and protector…was dead…

Chapter 3

If One of Us Goes Down

Part II

… Except that somehow, he wasn't.

Leonardo felt the bullet hit him, felt as it injected a drug in him as it imbedded in his skin, though he didn't realize it at the time, felt the drug quickly taking over, thinking he was dying, as he looked at the blood pouring out of the wound, confused because it hurt on the surface, but not deep on the inside like he thought it would if he were ever shot. He felt a sharp but much smaller pain in his lip as he bit it from the force of the impact and could taste the blood in his mouth.

"NOOO!!!" Donny screamed in horror and shock.

"Leo, NO!!!" Raph screamed in negation.

"LEO!!!" Mikey screamed in terror.

He heard his brother's shouts, their screams, his head snapped up to look at them, except that it couldn't, he was slow and sluggish as he began to die, he had just enough time to say goodbye, to tell them he loved them. He tried to say the rest with his eyes. _I never meant for this to happen…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I never meant to abandon you. I love you._ He felt a single tear leak its way out of the corner of his eye and down his cheek, desperate with the sorrow of leaving them like this. But he managed only a small, fragile, whisper of a sound, somehow escaping from his lips with his last, gasping breath.

"_Love you_…" As the air left his lips he tried to muster the energy to take in more, to say more, for there was so much more to say, but he could not. To his dismay his last breath was not followed by another, his world went dark, his eyes rolled back in his head and closed, and his face paled and went completely slack. He felt himself go limp, completely and utterly incapable of movement. He rested on the floor with his shoulder and head propped up at an awkward angle, his face empty, his body limp, expecting to loose his sense of touch and his hearing, to fade into nothingness, to die. His heart stopped, his pulse slowed and stilled. He lay, clearly dead, on the floor at his brother's feet, except that he was not dead. He could still feel the pain of his injuries, the coldness of the floor, the blood trickling down his skin, and he could still hear his brothers' screams.

"No Leo! Don't leave us! LEO!!!" Don screamed, begging in terror and disbelief.

"Leo Nooo! Please Leo! NOOO!!!" Raph screamed in grief and denial.

"Leo no, wake up! Leo _wake up_! LEO!!!" Mikey begged, screaming for his big brother.

His brothers cried, screamed, wailed. He could hear clanking and grunting sounds as they struggled, straining desperately against their chains, clearly trying to reach him. He could feel their tears as they dripped down on him, hear their sobs and wails, Raph's scream the worst sound he had ever heard, each sob and whimper twisting his heart painfully. It was worse than he could have ever imagined, worse than any nightmare. They thought he was dead. They were in shock and denial, grieving even through their disbelief. He could feel the pain emanating from them in waves, so tangible that he could almost taste the despair. The sound of it made his heart break. Was this death? If so, it was Hell.

He so wanted to help them, to make their pain stop, to let them know he was alive, but he could do nothing, not even breathe. It was clear that there was some sort of poison, the kind of sleeping drug used by Juliet in Shakespeare's _Romeo and Juliet_ that served to make him seem dead, clear that this was all part of Stryker's plan, his evil and horrific observation of their family dynamic. He really did mean to break them.

_And this would,_ Leo knew, _if anything will. It would have broken me if he had gotten Mikey…What am I going to do?_

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Ha! Fooled you, didn't I? (Although a few of you guessed…kudos to you!) I couldn't ever _actually_ kill Leo! Oh, and this is the point that we reach the other reason I wanted to incorporate Col. William Stryker from the X-Men universe: he used a sleeping drug to make Wolverine's love interest seem dead in_ X-Men Origins: Wolverine_. I'm pretty sure I had just seen that movie before starting this story. So, yeah, that. Other shows that have used this lovely plot device include: _Romeo & Juliet_, _Firefly_, and_ XXX_ among many others, I'm sure. I especially liked the bullet used by Vin Diesel's character to make that undercover cop seem dead so the bad guy wouldn't kill him in _XXX_, which was obviously my main inspiration for the bullet used on Leo. I suppose there's no good explanation for why Leo's conscious through it all when those characters aren't (I just wanted Leo conscious throughout to torture him, and so the reader know that he's alive), but let's just say it has something to do with his ninja training, k? Like that thing they did in the Triceraton ship: "It's called _chi gon_, internal breathing." Yeah, totally, that. So anyway, what did you think of this little twist? Please review!

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	5. Ch 4: We All Go Down

Well…Ch 3 part II certainly got mixed reviews. The only reason it was so short was because it was originally part of (and still is, really) Ch 3. I split it up for dramatic effect, I suppose. What fun would it have been if you found out he was alive the next paragraph down after thinking he wasn't? Anyway, I'm glad those of you who don't like character death stuck with it, and pleased that some of you really enjoyed it. Thank you all for the reviews! :) (I don't own them, yada yada)

Chapter 4

We All Go Down

Leo lay there, unmoving, seemingly dead, as Stryker approached him, laughing in a deranged sort of way.

"You idiot!" He snarled, kicking Leo with the toe of his boot, rolling him flat onto his shell and kicking him again. His brothers screamed.

"Nooo! Don't touch him!" Don cried.

"Get your filthy claws off of him!" Raph snarled.

"Leave him alone! Haven't you hurt him enough?" Mikey screamed.

They sobbed, screamed, desperately furious, helpless, grief-stricken. They struggled madly but there was nothing that they could do to protect their brother's defenseless body. Stryker laughed again, motioning the soldiers stationed at the door to pick Leo up and lay him on the metal table.

"You're pathetic!" He mocked them, picking up one of Leo's dislocated arms and letting it drop down limply. It bounced on the metal table with a dull clanging thud and slid off the table, swinging unnaturally jerky, like a corpse from a horror movie. This, somehow, more than anything else, really hit the point home to Leo's brothers that he was dead. It floored them.

"He dislocated his ankles and arms and tore off the skin from his hands and feet to take a bullet for you, Michelangelo, and you can't do the same? You can't get out of your shackles to help him like he did to leap to his _death_?" Stryker spat. "Some brothers you are."

There was nothing they could do, nothing they could say that would make it different; it was true. They hung limply from their chains, sobbing. It hurt like physical pain, like the worst pain imaginable, worse in fact, than they had ever imagined anything could hurt. They were simply not prepared for this. A loss of this magnitude was absolutely unimaginable.

"You should have expected that he would die this way, sooner or later, for one of you. It was the type of brother he was, wasn't it? I've figured it out, your loyalty, your group dynamic: it was all him. This isn't something I want to instill in my soldiers, because our leaders aren't this stupid. What kind of idiot would put the lives of his subordinates before his own? He was driven by love, plain and simple. And here I thought we would benefit so much from this study. What a waste… Whatever, I'll have fun dissecting him. We'll probably learn a lot by examining your anatomy." Leo's brother's faces paled, the horror and anger flared back up in their eyes. _Leo's death, his leadership, his love, a waste! His only contribution will be as a dissection subject!_

"Don't you touch him!" Raph screamed, spittle and tears flying from his face, thrown up towards Stryker in a gesture of pure malice, an expression of rage and horror. "Don't you _dare_! He's a better man, a better brother, a better leader than you or anyone else could ever even imagine being—"

"You mean, he _was_," Stryker interrupted, correcting him cruelly. Raph stopped. His face froze in a pained expression and he just stopped. He just…couldn't… function as these words sunk in. He made a choked sort of sound as he tried to form a retaliation, tried to deny these words, to fight back, defend his leader and brother, but he couldn't. Leo _was_. Not is, _was_. Leo and everything to do with him now belonged in the past tense. There would never again be anything new, any plans, memories, talks, with Leo. He would never even see his eyes again. Leo's eyes were—had been—so kind, and he would never look into them again, never see them looking at him, always full of love, crinkled up in amusement or happiness or even narrowed in sternness or widened in worry. Raph hung limply in his chains and stared blankly into the space behind Leo's body as the reality of this sunk in and he focused on Leo's blank face, his closed eyes. He had lost his brother forever.

"No…" he gasped, "Leo!" And then he was sobbing, really and truly sobbing. Lost to the world and to his brothers right beside him as his vision blurred with his tears and his ears filled with roaring, his mind filled with Leo's face flickering back and forth between the bright, smiling one of Raph's memory and the empty, dead one before him. What Raph had lost was unimaginable, irreplaceable, and he was truly desolate, abandoned, and inconsolable.

Leo heard all of this and died a little on the inside. He had never, ever heard Raph sound so defeated, so lost, so empty, broken and absolutely stricken with grief, had never heard any of his brothers sound the way that they did now, believing that he was dead, sobbing for him. He tried desperately to move, to twitch, to just breathe, anything to let them know that he was alive and still here for them, that he had not abandoned them, that they were not alone. He was screaming on the inside but no sound came from his lips. He tried desperately to throw his eyelids open, but they remained closed. He could do nothing for his brothers, and it was killing him. What if Stryker decided to kill them? He would hear and be able to do nothing, would not even be sure what had happened and whether they were still alive or not. That would really and truly be torture. He resolved that no matter what, he was going to free himself from this paralysis and get them all out of here.

Stryker was laughing at Raph's despair as he began his examination of Leo, poking and prodding him in a way that was truly violating and degrading. His brothers couldn't stand to watch and looked away in shame and grief, trying to hide from the horror of it. When Stryker was done he looked truly excited, rubbing his hands together eagerly. He looked up at the three turtles chained to the wall, huddled together pathetically; before he couldn't get them to look at Leo's body, now that his examination was done they wouldn't look away from it, as if trying to memorize what their brother looked like when he could almost just be sleeping, knowing that soon he would be mutilated. Stryker grinned evilly.

"I'll be right back. I'm just going to go prep for the dissection. Don't go anywhere!" He said brightly, maliciously, walking out the door. Minutes passed. Horrible, tense minutes passed in silence but for the sounds of Leo's brother's sobs and whimpers.

"Leo, no…" Raph whimpered.

"We have to stop this, please, do something. Help, somebody! Anybody! …help…" Mikey begged.

"This can't be happening. Please, tell me this isn't happening…Leo…no…" Don cried.

The minutes were horrible for Leo, unable to do anything but lie there in pain, listening to his brothers crying for him, not knowing what was happening during the long silences. Finally he heard something that gave him heart and scared him. Stryker's voice, but angry and defeated.

"I have just received word that this project has been terminated and you are all to be terminated, so, whatever, do whatever you want, for all I care," Stryker's voice came from a speaker in the wall. At the same time, their chains released and they all collapsed to their knees.

They jumped up immediately, knees giving out again, in the attempt to run to Leo's side. Raph got there first and put a desperate hand to Leo's neck, checking for a pulse, sobbing when there was none, then beginning CPR. Leo felt the oddest sensation while it was going on. The oxygen cleared his head a little, and the close proximity of his brother was comforting. Unfortunately the desperate quiver of his body, the tears falling down, and the crying was not. Raph knew it was hopeless, but it was all he could do.

"Raph…it's too late," Donny sobbed. "There's nothing we can do...he's gone, d-dead." Raph stopped, frozen with his now bloodstained hands on Leo's chest. Bowing his head and working to control the tears he gathered Leo up in a desperate embrace, threw his head back, and released his grief in a long, keening wail, then pressed his face into his brother's cold neck, sobbing desperately. Mikey could not bring himself to touch Leo, who had given his life for him, instead collapsed to the ground, wailing his grief and guilt to the ceiling. Donny, sensing a greater need, wrapped his arms around his warm little brother rather than his cold big one. Donny and Mikey cried together on the floor while Raph clutched his dead brother to himself, tears running unabashed down his face and onto Leo's neck.

"I'm sorry I couldn't help, Leo. I'm sorry…Leo…" Raph sobbed into Leo's shoulder.

Leo couldn't stand it; this was just too much. Feeling Raph's shaking arms around him, his wet face nuzzled into his neck, hearing his words and feeling his sobs, was too much for him. He tried desperately to move, the helplessness driving him mad.

Suddenly Raph withdrew a little. He looked down at Leo and his face hardened with resolve. He gently but firmly grasped Leo's right shoulder and arm and popped his shoulder back into its socket in one smooth movement. It hurt like shell, but once it was over the horrible, dull ache in Leo's shoulder vanished. His heart smiled in gratitude at Raph's thoughtfulness.

"What are you doing?" Mikey asked, almost in anger, looking up from Donny's shoulder at the popping sound.

"He deserves to be whole. Stryker shouldn't have the satisfaction of seeing him like this, and Splinter shouldn't have to," Raph replied.

"But it doesn't make any sense; it doesn't make any difference," Donny reasoned bitterly. Raph growled.

"It's all I can do for him!" Raph shouted hysterically, breaking down into tears again as he tried to grip Leo's other shoulder. "It's all I can do…I want to do more, want to help him, make it better, give him everything I can, do everything I can and there's nothing…nothing I can do to help. But this is something I _can_ do for him. It's not much, it's nothing really, no help at all, but it's _something_ so I'm going to do it. I have too!" Raph sobbed, "For him…I'd do anything and this is all I can do…so the only way anyone could get me to stop is over my dead body." Raph growled, shaking too badly to be able to fix Leo's other shoulder. Donny's face relaxed and then tightened into one of understanding and grief.

"Oh…I understand. Here, let me help," He said, moving to grip Leo's shoulders while Mikey moved in to help steady Leo's body and head, wrapping his arms around his brother's torso and hugging Leo to himself as Donny and Raph relocated Leo's other shoulder and moved to relocate his ankles and bandage his hands, feet, and chest with their bandanas and leather gear. Raph used his own bandana to tenderly wipe the blood and tears from Leo's face, neck, and chest, adding some more tears of his own as he looked at Leo's.

"I'm sorry Leo," Mikey sobbed into the back of Leo's neck as his brothers worked. "I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault Mikey," Donny reassured him softly.

"He would have done it for any of us," Raph stated loyally, truthfully, again hugging Leo to himself. They froze as a creaking sound drew their attention to the door, now opening but with no one inside it. Stryker's voice came from the speaker again.

"If you stay your brother's body will be thrown in a dumpster and you'll be killed and join him. I'd rather let you go in hopes that my superiors will change their minds and I'll be able to catch and study you another day, so get out," he said bitterly. The brothers looked up in anger and disbelief. _This was all for nothing. He died for nothing. Those bastards_…Raph desperately wanted to stay and attack the first person, especially if it was Stryker, who walked through that door, but he knew he had to get his brothers home…Leo was counting on him, so Raph gently lifted Leo's torso under his arms, cradling his brother's head to his chest as Mikey and Donny supported his torso and his legs.

They tenderly picked up their brother's limp, bandaged form and carried him together out the door and into the gradually lightening morning skyline.

So, we're almost to the end of this thing. I purposely left the whole Stryker/EPF thing open-ended for a sequel there, so we may or may not be hearing more from him. Let's just finish this story first. This chapter was painful to write and even worse to edit. I was going for angst, but I'm afraid I got a lot of ooc sap, especially from Raph. I'm still not quite satisfied with it, but I've taken long enough on this story as it is, so there you go. Oh well, these things are fun to write and read from time to time, no? I hope you did enjoy it, and would love to know what you thought of it in the form of reviews. :) One more chapter to go!


	6. Ch 5: So Focus

Alright, this is it! I'm actually completing another story! Lol, sorry it took so long, but I had a lot of fun with this story. I do love torturing Leo and his bros and all the angst it causes. Thank you so much for all your reviews! They make it all worthwhile! :) Ok, without further ado, the final chapter:

Chapter 5

So Focus

As Leo swung limply from his brothers' shaking arms he reflected on the events leading up to this moment, trying to figure out something he could have done differently to spare them all of this horror, and trying not to think about what would happen if the paralysis was permanent and his brothers never realized that he was still alive…eventually they would bury or cremate him. He never really thought he would fear death when it came, and he hadn't, when he thought it had come for him, but this thought, being buried or burned alive by his own brothers, absolutely terrified him.

_Oh God, I have to move. I HAVE to. Maybe if I focus all my energy on just twitching a finger or getting my heart pumping and breathing they'll notice. _And he put all his efforts into trying to start breathing, something he'd never really had to work at before.

His brothers carried him in silence, supporting him and each other when one would give in to a heaving sob and stumble, unable to continue for a moment. Their shell cells had been stolen or destroyed, or they would have called for help. As it was they had to walk alone, and alone they felt, completely abandoned on the long walk home.

Finally they arrived at the lair's door, which swung open at their approach, Splinter silhouetted in the light from the lair. He collapsed to his knees with an anguished cry, holding his arms out to his fallen son in pleading to live, not let it be what it seemed. When Leo did not miraculously open his eyes Splinter buried his face in his hands and ran into his room in a state of madness from grief so intense he couldn't deal with it as his sons carried his eldest to his room and gently laid him down on his bed. They each curled up around Leo, lying next to him, resting their heads on his chest and shoulders, nuzzling against his neck or his temple, wrapping their arms around his cold form or gripping a limp hand, crying themselves to sleep.

It was a very long night—for all of them—but especially for Leo. He had to endure his brothers' murmured apologies, things they would have done differently, that they wished they'd told him, that they wanted him to know, that they would do to bring him back. He learned more about them that night than he had ever wanted to, learned just how much they loved and needed him, and worried that the family would crack, that since one of them had "gone down," they all would. All night he tried to breathe, struggling, the fruitless effort maddening. He finally fell asleep around dawn, feeling his brothers' hands clutching his own, their hot, wet breath on his neck and their tears dribbling down his cold skin.

He woke to Raph's shouting.

"I felt a pulse in his wrist! I swear to God! Donny, check it, please!" Donny looked tortured, like this was too much for him, that he was barely holding it together and that this would be enough to set him over the edge. But he took Leo's wrist in his hand all the same. Leo focused all of his energy into moving, breathing, having a stronger pulse, and managed to give the smallest of squeezes with his hand. Donny felt it and froze. It was too good to be true, a miracle. Not possible. Leo felt him stiffen, could tell his brother had felt it and rejoiced. He wasn't paralyzed, and he wasn't going to be buried alive. His pulse stuttered back to life, he took his first gasping breath in hours, and he opened his eyes.

His vision was blurry at first, but he could see the three green shapes above him. He blinked a few times and suddenly his vision cleared, his brothers shocked faces staring down at him. He flexed his fingers and toes, blinked again, swallowed, and managed to croak out.

"Guys…" He swallowed again, "Raph, Don, Mikey…it's ok…I'm ok." His brothers' faces transformed from shock to rapture, their eyes wide, their mouths stretched into amazed, tremulous grins.

"Leo? You're ok?" Mikey choked out, eyes filling anew with tears, this time tears of joy and wonder.

"Yeah…Musta been like that bullet Vin Diesel used on the undercover cop in that movie _XXX, _like that sleeping drug Juliet took in _Romeo and Juliet_ and used in _Sherlock Holmes_. You know? Makes you look dead, slows you down." Mikey nodded, knowing the scenes that Leo was talking about, eyes lighting up with excitement and wonder at this miracle. Leo took a deep breath, turning his face from Mikey's to Donny.

"Leo…" Donny whispered, stretching a trembling hand out to touch his brother's cheek, feeling the warm breath that had not been there the night before. _They must have used nightshade, or maybe rhododendron, or whatever that kind of drug is called. Whatever… He's alive. _Donny smiled tremulously, "You're alive," he said with wonder. "You're alive." And he started crying again too.

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounded horrible. I could hear you, and feel you and…it was horrible. I felt so helpless. But I'm here, still here. And we're still together," Leo said weakly, turning finally to Raph, whose face was contorted with emotion.

"Leo!" Raph cried, rushing to wrap his arms around the brother who had come back from the dead, once again burying his face in Leo's neck, now considerably warmer. Leo struggled to lift his arms, which felt like they were weighed down by lead blocks. But it was important, this movement mattered more than any other, meant more than any other could. With supreme willpower he lifted his arms and wrapped them around his now sobbing brother, embracing him first gently and then more and more tightly as his strength returned. Raph squeezed his hold tighter in response, talking nearly incoherently into his ear. "I'm sorry I couldn't help. Sorry I couldn't get out of the chains. Sorry for all the grief I've given you over the years. I'm sorry, so sorry…I love you bro!" Raph sobbed in relief, his voice tangled with so many conflicting emotions that it cracked, traces of the grief that had been so palpable just hours ago still audible in his voice, now heavily laced with rejoicing in this second chance, this miracle.

"I love you too," Leo responded gently, "all of you."

"We know!" Mikey sobbed, "Those were your last words…before…before…" but Mikey couldn't continue, the horror of what he had experienced overwhelmed him and he fell to his knees, working hard to control his breathing, clutching the edge of the couch tightly, head bowed. Leo struggled to roll over to face his brothers, Donny and Raph assisting him, kneeling on either side of Mikey now, their expressions pained as they too relived Leo's last words, his last breath.

"We've always known you love us. God Leo, you live for us…and you just…_died_ for us. At least, you certainly proved yourself willing to," Donny trailed off softly, his arm around Mikey's shoulder.

"You really hurt yourself getting out of those chains…to take a bullet for me…_Leo_…" Mikey sobbed, taking Leo's injured wrist and hand gently in his own and looking down at it before looking back up into Leo's eyes with tears in his own. "Why would you do that? Don't you know we need you more than you need me?" Leo's face contorted with pain.

"Never. You mean more to me than the world, than life. I couldn't _not_ do anything. I didn't even think about it Mikey. You're my brothers; you're all I've got. I just, I don't know, went into auto pilot." Leo said, clasping Mikey's hand in both of his earnestly, trying to explain a non-conscious decision.

"Don't you dare do that again. Ever. Don't play the hero like that. Not for me, at least. Not ever. I couldn't go through that again." Raph stated firmly, clutching Leo's shoulder so tight his knuckles turned white. "I don't think any of us could," he whispered.

"Well…I don't plan to," Leo joked weakly. "I certainly hope the situation will never present itself to me again," giving Raph's hand a quick squeeze in return. His arm shook as he struggled to raise himself up to a sitting position. His brothers rushed to assist him up, Raph and Donny sat on either side of him, and Mikey knelt at his feet, resting his head on Leo's knees and wrapping his arms around Leo's waist. Leo brushed the tears from Mikey's face affectionately, then turned to do the same to Donny, who was resting his head on Leo's shoulder, one arm around Leo's shell, the other around his plastron, and then Raph, who rested his head on Leo's other shoulder and wrapped his arms around Leo as well, so that Leo was enfolded by his brothers, feeling the chill gripping his body fade away until he felt warm.

"I love you Leo…thanks for saving me," Mikey whispered as he clutched Leo tightly. Leo smiled down at his brother, extracting an arm to stroke Mikey lightly on the cheek, once again brushing his tears away.

"Any time little brother," Leo replied gently.

"I love you too Leo," Donny whispered into his shoulder. "Please don't—please don't leave us like that again," sounding like a child in his vulnerability, hugging his brother tightly. Leo put his arm back around Donny, returning the hug and replying simply:

"'kay," then continuing, "I never did, you know, leave you. I heard and felt it all, desperately wanting to move, even if just to twitch a finger to let you guys know I was ok. Hearing you—_cry_—like that, calling for me and stuff, and not being able to answer or comfort you or do anything about it was probably the worst torture ever," Leo admitted softly, delicately using the word "cry" to describe the screaming and sobbing, the heart-breaking weeping that he had had to endure helplessly for hours. "I thought he would kill you. I was terrified that I would hear it and not even know what was going on, not be able to do anything about it. I thought I might have been paralyzed permanently. I wanted to rip Stryker limb from limb for what he was doing to you. Your pain…it was so intense …it was nearly unbearable. I almost went mad."

"You were right Leo, you know?" Mikey sniffed softly, "'In this life we only have each other; if one of us go down, we all go down.'"

"So focus…" Leo finished. "I did. The whole time I focused on just starting to breathe again to let you know I was ok, and before that I focused all my attention on saving you. I think that's why I was able to get out of the shackles. When I saw him pull that gun on you it's like I developed tunnel vision or something. I was completely focused on the scene in front of me, on your faces, on the gun." His eyes narrowed and he took a deep, calming breath. "I saw everything happening in slow motion and I just, I don't know, figured out everything I would have to do to save you, but it wasn't really a conscious process. I just…acted," Leo explained, finding it difficult to describe.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't get out of my shackles to help you." Mikey stated guiltily.

"Me too. I would have thought it was impossible if I hadn't just seen you do it." Donny added.

"I tried so hard to get out but…I just couldn't," Raph bowed his head in shame.

"Guys, don't let what Stryker said get to you. I think my shackles were looser than yours. I think he meant for that to happen, he wanted you to feel this way, wanted to study your reactions, and wanted me to despair that I would be dissected alive, or even buried or cremated alive…" Leo trailed off with a little shudder, noticing the horrified looks on his brothers' faces. "Sorry," he added when Mikey gave a little sob. "It's not your fault you couldn't get out of the shackles. Don't give him the satisfaction of feeling guilty. It wasn't any of your faults. It's not like you asked to be shot. I'm the one who opened my big mouth, convincing him that killing you in front of me was the only way to get to me…It certainly would have." He added grimly.

"It definitely got to us," Raph joked weakly. "I'm really glad it just paralyzed you—Well, temporarily at least. I guess it would have been worse if it was permanent and we didn't realize that you were still alive, huh?"

"Yeah, I think that would have definitely been worse for Leo, and us if we found out later that he had been alive…especially if _we_ did it to him." Donny shuddered.

"Hey Donny, Raph and my blood are only compatible with each other so…if I hadn't woken up, would you have saved some of my blood for him, you know, in case he needs it in the future?" Leo asked, just now thinking about this repercussion of his death.

"I…seriously doubt I would have thought of that Leo," Donny answered honestly, troubled.

"And I wouldn't have been cool with it if he had done it." Raph answered flatly, frowning.

"I think we need to try to save as much as we can if one of us does…well, if it happens again," Leo said gently. "It's not like we can go to the hospital to get a transfusion or transplant. We should probably make ourselves a blood bank. And I think we should try to prepare for life after something like this happens too. I mean, we're probably not going to all kick the bucket at the same time and I certainly don't want us all to fall if one of us does."

"Leo, can we not talk about this right now? I mean, jeeze, let us get over the shock first," Raph said, barely concealing how much the topic was bothering him. " 'Kinda just focusing on the fact that you're alive right now." Leo opened his mouth to reply but really looked at his brother first and closed his mouth. Leo had never seen that look on Raph's face before; he looked haunted. This trauma would stick with them all for a while, and it was way too soon to be talking about loosing someone again. What he needed to do right now was assure them that he was here for them and not going anywhere.

"Yeah, sure Raph. You're right; I'm being stupid. I'm kinda just trying to get my mind off of the whole ordeal, but that wasn't exactly the best way to do so. None of us are going anywhere for a long time." Leo said, all the while noting shrewdly that he'd have to start grooming Raph in particular for this kind of thing. He would want Raph to take over the leadership of the family, and Raph probably wouldn't have been prepared to do so this time. _Although,_ Leo remembered, _Raph did well in controlling his anger and any thirst for vengeance when he had the chance to get us all out. He barely hesitated before picking me up and going home when the opportunity presented itself rather than attempting to attack_. Leo placed his hand on Raph's shoulder and looked him in the eyes.

"Thanks for defending me, fixing me up, and getting us home Raph, you did good." Raph's eyes filled with tears in the face of all the love and pride filling Leo's eyes. He hadn't thought he would ever see that look again and it floored him. He couldn't explain it, but Leo seemed to understand. He held the look, now tinged with some concern and regret, gazing into Raph's own eyes, also filled with love and much grief, as well as tears, and then drew Raph back into a hug. "It's alright, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Donny and Mikey joined the hug, the brothers curled up together on and around the couch. They fell asleep in each other's arms, to be found and woken by a rapturous Splinter hours later.

_In this life we only have each other. If one of us goes down, we all go down. So focus._

The End

So that's all folks. What did you think? And any suggestions for a sequel? I have a couple rough, unformed ideas, but would appreciate any of yours! As for my plans for other stories in the future, I do intend to complete Turtles Forever: Same as it Never Was, but thanks to some very good feedback have been attempting to polish it up a bit first. Define Loyalty is on the back burner, but at soon as I figure out how I want it to end (lol, maybe I should have decided that before starting it) I'll get back into it. I've also been working on a Fast Forward ficlet, so you should (fingers crossed) expect that sometime in the next year.

Like I said before, I had a lot of fun writing this one, and even more fun sharing it with all of you. It's a bit nerve-wracking, putting one's work out there on the Internet for anyone (especially the really good tmnt fanfic writers on this site) to read and critique, but I was glad to do it, and really do appreciate all the feedback I got on this one.

Please leave me a review on the way out, even though (especially since) I'm done. They make me happy. :) Happy reading, writing, and living Turtle fans!


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